Perry’s Picks

Perry Olsen is the king of jokes, memes, and all things quirky. He has agreed to share his finds with us in a weekly column. Enjoy!

February 25

Spring

February 18

Life Is Hard

February 12

Grandma

February 6

Love A Dog

February 4

Boy Flute

January 28

Circle Of Life

January 21
Image012

January 14
Dr Appt

January 7
Bed And Breakfast

December 30

Bmi Chart

Locked Out

December 17 (a little something for everyone)

Dogs

Last Puzzle Piece

Comma

Fixing The World

November 6

Squat

October 3o

Ballet Girl

October 27

Cat Not A Quitter

October 24

Turkey Flamingo

October 17

Things to ponder as you age

  • The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54
  • The originator of gymnastics died at the age of 57
  • The past world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41
  • The best soccer player in history, Maradona, died at the age of 60

And then

  • KFC inventor died at 94
  • Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88
  • Cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102
  • The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake
  • Hennessy cognac, Irish inventor died at 98

How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

  • The rabbit is always jumping, but it lives for only 2 years
  • The turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years

So…

Have a drink, take a nap, and if you wake up, have bacon and eggs.

October 11

  • Driving Fast
  • October 5
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  • October 3
  • Golf with some caddy quotes:
  • Golfer: “I’ve played so poorly all day, that I think I’m going to go drown myself in that lake.”Caddy: “I doubt you could keep your head down that long.”
  • Golfer: “Caddy, do you think that my game is improving?” Caddy: “Oh yes sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to.”
  • Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, Caddy. It looks far too old”. Caddy: “Its been a long time since we started, Sir.”
  • Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?” Caddy: “Eventually.”
  • September 24
  • Russian Doll
  • September 18
  • Lines
  • September 15
  • Geese
  • September 12
  • Garage
  • September 9
  • Pee Pad
  • September 1
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  • August 21
  • Puppies Truck
  • August 20
  • Image009
  • August 17
  • Hear Better
  • August 10
  • Dog
  • August 3
  • Perry says, “Some good ones!”
  • “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” – Andy Rooney
  • “Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.” – Jennifer Yane
  • “The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. – Mark Twain
  • “Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.” – John Wagner
  • “It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.” – Unknown

    “The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.” – T.S. Elliot

  • “The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget.” – Unknown
  • “The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
  • “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” – George Burns
  • July 30
  • Hokey Pokey
  • July 22
  • Image Empty Airplane
  • July 20
  • Coke
  • July 16
  • Baby Gate
  • July 9
  • Image018
  • Parents School
  • Plans
  • July 5
  • Charades
  • July 3
  • Peguin
  • June 27
  • Dog Password
  • June 18
  • This is a tribute to Bob Hope.

  • ON TURNING 70  –  ‘I still chase women, but only downhill.’

  • ON TURNING 80  –  ‘That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.’

  • ON TURNING 90  –  ‘You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.’

  • ON TURNING 100  –  ‘I don’t feel old. In fact, I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.’

  • ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING  –  ‘I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.’

  • ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR  –  ‘Welcome to the Academy Awards, or as it’s called at my home, ‘Passover.’

  • ON GOLF  –  ‘Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.’

  • ON PRESIDENTS  –  ‘I have performed for 12 presidents but entertained only six.’

  • ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER  –  ‘When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.’

  • ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL  –  ‘I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.’

  • ON HIS FAMILY’S EARLY POVERTY  –  ‘Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.’

  • ON HIS SIX BROTHERS  –  ‘That’s how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.’

  • ON HIS EARLY FAILURES  –  ‘I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn’t for the stuff the audience threw at me.’

  • ON GOING TO HEAVEN  –  ‘I’ve done benefits for ALL religions. I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.’

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  • June 11
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  • June 4
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  • May 31
  • Tennis Balls
  • May 27
  • Gondola
  • May 21
  • 31 Years
  • ..and a special request from a Perry fan
  • Puppy
  • May 16, 2023
  • Goat
  • May 14, 20203
  • Image Life Support
  • April 26, 2023
  • Image Scared Dog
  • April 20, 2023
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  • April 19, 2023
  • Just amazing! The World’s tallest Person is from Turkey. He is 9 feet and 4 inches tall and aged 38. The Shortest Lady on Earth is an Indian and her height is just 1 foot 4 inches, aged 22.
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